There are many drives for compulsive and addictive behaviour that are revealed in individual therapy sessions, but one aspect that has become increasingly discussed is many people compare their lived experiences to other people.
The fear of missing out (FOMO) was a term first coined in 1996 but is a concept in human psychology that has existed since time immemorial.
The idea behind FOMO and particularly how this principle can fuel addiction is that people want to feel like they belong and are included in activities, a feeling that is accentuated by how social media connects people far more than was the norm in the past.
This, combined with the curated nature of social media, creates a sense of anxiety that other people’s lives are constantly filled with interesting moments, excitement and positives compared to the mundane moments we experience every day.
It can also manifest in other ways. People can experience FOMO if they are not invited to a social gathering or meeting, and the principle is often exploited in the world of commerce to make people spend quickly to not miss out on a good deal.
Whilst the details change, the main drives behind FOMO come from the same few emotional drives and triggers.
The most common reason for FOMO is a fear of the feeling of regret, or the sadness felt for making a wrong decision. Because regret is a powerful emotion, it can create an aversion to feeling it again, leading to people reflexively deciding to avoid missing out again.
There is also the concept of loss aversion, which when more generally applied implies that people are affected more by losing something than gaining something of equal value.
This trigger is also a common cause of chasing losses, a potential symptom of gambling addiction, which leads to people spending and losing more money than they would like to make up for that negative feeling.